forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
