I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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