I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
