Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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