just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
