Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
