Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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