U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
