everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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