At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
