Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
