I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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