So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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