I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
