Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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