Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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