Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
