He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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