so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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