and you said cock pushups were impossible
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
