pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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