you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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