I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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