Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I am never drinking with the goths again.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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