Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
