I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
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