She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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