Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
