it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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