she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
