its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
