If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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