i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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