i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
