he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
