The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
