He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
