It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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