lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
