Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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