no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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