i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
