yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We left the knife in your bed.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
