I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
