Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
