Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
porn star boner night. come get it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
