im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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