Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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