okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
