Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
