my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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