Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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