I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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