Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
