I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
